i want to paint a lot this summer, have taken little walk to painting faculty dep. and im astonished, i cant paint for shit.

update: i didn't go bouldering, had to finish books and animation for exhibition, have cried by anger on premiere pro!!!! i wish to go, had plans to go dancing today, but weather is really ugly and i'm so sleepy i even forgot i was meant to go. recent days had fun time on two events with my love and her friends though xoxo. today i just feel annoyed at myself, there are those days, when i compare myself to others and feel worse, and i also cannot tell of doing maybe a year progress? by my hobbies i mean. why do i feel, that design/practical things are something more worthy than the stuff i do for fun? am i feeling better and with energy to work on them? or is it just the feeling that those are more money-making activities? i've made a cake today.

Month of may-june was at high speed, I even made myself a planner to keep up with right things :) it was intensive, but with joys at most only, so very precious time of the year. I was partaking first time a little art market and few other exhibitions, was tired at end, but for my suprise I could sell some and I’ve earned :DD

May brought me elderflowers (such an ugly name for english..), parties and brought me love, it feels so nice. I feel so much in love, i believe it might go well🩷 I've watched a lot of movies this month haha, i'm also glad I've watched Possession like a month ago maybe, it was highly inspirative for a publication I was making recently :))

(comic book i've wanted to buy, but it was priced high :( by amazing melek zertal)
This weekend I’ve came back to my family home-town, which lays at very much east of poland (think of american west) - prairies, bike rides, wild flowers, log houses (lived or not…) I’ve missed it a lot, feels so freeing to come back there, once you’re healed.
There’s other thing I was thinking about, because I feel I got my strength to do more graphic design again, which unluckily I couldn’t (not nice to use “I have adhd” argument) do it for months and be pleased with results, my love is back. I might have been depressed, I knew it will happen though. (my lovely witch told me to expect that, which happened) and only thing that was someway righteous to do was illustration/comics . but I feel ready again.
Tomorrow I’m going bouldering, I haven’t excersized for a month due my other duties and I hope I would get my strength back!

pls recommend me some good psychological horror....thank you... 🩷૮ ྀིᴗ͈ . ᴗ͈ ྀིა

the photo is from the sweetest bakery in poznan 🤭🪽
i will be tattooing my friend back today and so exicted!!!!!, but also little bit scared, because i haven't touched my tattoo pen in a year maybe...wish me luck!!!!!
i suck at tracking my days and doings recently i kind of forget that time exists lol. I feel a little bit stuck at everything, good news is that i'm finally on my meds and it's helping me a lot. i have stopped kind of believing myself, i have to touch grass a little bit more.. i know that being intuitive is really reliable on practice and self-trust.... it might be beacuse my overall mood recently is lower (i know why, crashed out yesterday lol).
these are my recent prints and there's a new stone i started to work on, she's so tiny.... two days ago i've had chit-chat about litho and i love the fact it is absolute alchemy!!!!!! im like a wizdard in school too, its so cool. might change this entry, because when im writing this right now im not really using my brain.

#nerd

i have essay that should be written yesterday and sent yesterday too. ive taken my pills so it can be easier, but i stare at the monitor and make myself stressed like........... i should be going from home in 30 minutes. what a day

I have to absolutely learn to listen to my gut why I even question that. I am 80-90% sure im right about things i think about how they are. cartomancy (any oracle and ceromancy too!) does give me similar answer too....
something that kind of bothers me is that sometimes i can be delusional.... once ive talked to that beautiful gypsy old witch and anything i thought it is, she confirmed and told me i should truly and deeply listen to my intuition!!! sometimes i question myself and i do truly do not like it....

first thing i became skinnier someoway lol, second is that it might be growing muscle and third my mom is calling me on 10am she might know that i have new tattoo and might want to kill me i dont know i wont reply im busy tiday

february so far...

As I’ve believed February has been abundant in work and practice mostly, but in a way i’m enjoying that place im in!! (I’m not trying to look back on the past few months, dark night of my soul…) :_D I also have changed two workshops and I’m in litho class pretty much daily :3 have met few more friends…and have been thinking about valentine for a little bit…૮ ྀིᴗ͈ . ᴗ͈ ྀིა (im very emotional and try to not expect anything but enjoy everything 𓏲ּ𝄢) two days ago I have been tattooed by my friend on my second hand and it is drypoint/etching inspired drawing of a unicorn :^] firstly i was meant to be one to one illustration from the movie The Last Unicorn (1. i love it and 2nd i adore the transformation as a methafor/reminder of the inevitable decay of the body and its triviality towards the soul) buuuut on the second hand i have pretty much losely drawn my own cat, so i wanted it to be in different style, it was done by my friend :DD Havent painted this month even a little bit. i’m getting back into working out, focusing more on calinesthics and pole, might go bouldering soon. can’t wait for more sunshine and awesome book, poetry projects coming soon…

recently my life is really good, im eating cereal right now

made my website portfolio-like, but i dont beleive my art is portfolio worthy yet... i like how minimalistic it is tho..

i wish i could find some commonbook place, maybe on web to track my makings as i used to? i wish i could do it here, but it mihht br not that intuitive since i would have ot code it from scratch, but in this way it wold be bigger chance i might not delete it lol

i think how much cool i was in my tumblr era, might never be that cool again

once again i have a feeling i have so much to do, i can't dissapoint anyone but also want to rest gjggjkgekj

looove

10.12.25 1st linocut color and other recent creatings

i'm absolutely scared if i even pass this year.......made for myself problem again with extra-curriculum attendance and i wonder if i will have to repeat a schoolyear :cc i have to do stuff even if i don't really know what will happen....i pray for good outcome< 3 i have no choice other than that.....from a good thing is that ive started working on lino, because woodcut wasnt my favourite method of work (i did try, but it turned out my tools werent right)

i also had a chance to sell my zine i did few months back yay ꩜₍ ᐢ⩊ᐢ ₎ . ݁₊

first time printing with color :33